Scammed

A few months ago we had the great opportunity to put our profile on www.parentprofiles.com. We were happy to take advantage of the opportunity, but with it came a caution to be aware of adoption scams that are more prevalent if our information is on the internet. You see, some people prey on adoptive couples for money and some prey on them for emotional reasons. We have been warned and have heard stories about other people but we never thought it would be us.
Tuesday morning we woke up to a contact through our PP profile from a gentleman who said that his wife died in childbirth on October 1st and he was looking to place the baby because he wanted to focus on his six other children and his profession. We thought it was kind of strange that he would use flippant language to explain his desire to place his baby but we thought we would respond anyways. The return email was written with a completely different syntax, told us that "the God of the universe has chosen you to be his parents" and insisted on our personal phone numbers. We did not feel peaceful about this at all so we decided to write back without offering our phone number. We knew that pictures can often be traced so we asked for photos. In the meantime we spent a few hours trying to check out the email address, names and adoption scam forums. In the forums-nothing was said that connected to our emails. There was a lot written, however, about adoption offers from Cameroon by an overseas agency and cautions against communicating with them.
Once again the person responded and seemed a little more loving towards the baby and the situation but claimed that he didn't have any experience with babies, so it was so hard to take care of his baby. That seemed weird if he had six previous children. Something in us made us very skeptical but something else was in the back of our mind telling us to be careful about throwing away a potential opportunity.
In our research, we found that the baby name was a famous french person's name. We noticed that the sentence structure of the emails was off-as if the author wasn't an English speaker. (The birthdate was backwards like would be done in French) I prayed that we would be able to find something to help us know for sure that this was a scam or that it wasn't a scam.
We received photos of a beautiful black baby. I wasn't sure how to trace the photos other than doing a basic google image search and we found nothing. I came back to the email later and once again prayed that I would be able to find something that would be a clue to the scam or reality of the situation. I clicked on one of the pictures and my macbook at school made the image very large. Enlarged, I saw that the hazardous waste (is that what they are?) container was written in French. The person standing over the baby was holding a wooden measuring tool to measure the baby's height (I don't think they use those anymore), the thermometer was old-school, the diaper was taped-not like an american diaper, and the baby's head was elongated like it had come through the birth canal and probably not c-section like I would assume would happen if the mother's life was in danger. I enlarged the next picture and could see the name on the baby's wristband. It was not Jean Gael, but something like Miko. The baby was wearing a sweater, not a normal hospital issue onesie. Hmmmm.
We contacted our caseworker who directed us to contact Parent Profiles and found that these emails were coming from overseas and the information used in the emails had been tried on other couples in March 2007.
Phew! We were lucky. We were lucky that we felt uneasy from the start about this and that people, like our caseworker, knew where to send us to get help. We were lucky that we were guided to find things that would help us question the validity of the emails and pictures. I am grateful for the things that I learned on my mission that helped us to question the make-up of the emails. Mostly, I am grateful that we were protected from what could've been a very emotional and hurtful experience.

Verification

So... I just left a comment on someone's blog and was reminded about my feelings concerning the secret code test we are required to pass before leaving a comment. That test gives me anxiety. For some reason, I fail that test about 50% of the time. Perhaps you aren't receiving comments from me because I struggle to get through! Oh Buddy :)

My Life's Dream...

So, the other day my sister-in-law told me that I needed to blog more. I have thought about it but I haven't felt like I had anything to say. Well, the past few days have changed all of that. On Friday, my ninth graders were taking a college survey. As they were pulling their hair out about all of the different options available to them, one of them piped up and said, "My life's dream is to live in a dorm". I couldn't help but go "What?" He said, "No really... my life's dream is to live in a dorm with a mini-fridge, and I want to fill it with string cheese!" I downright guffawed. Too bad he was serious and felt that he needed to defend himself.
We moved on and the next period provided another enlightening experience. Two of my senior girls were talking about a former boyfriend that the one had given up. The other thought that he was ugly and should have never been considered. They vehemently debated the importance of looks vs. personality for a few moments until someone made a comment about the internet as a tool for dating. One of the girls stopped her side of the debate and said, "The internet is for psychos... and freaks who want to get kidnapped!" Well, I guffawed again, and let's just say, that debate ended for the period.
In Shawn's classes, he has had some equally stimulating conversations concerning Sparta and Rome. After explaining how Sparta was a military society and how the military ruled every bit of life, he noticed that there was a volleyball inside a four-legged stool. He asked his volleyball player, whom the ball belonged to, how the ball got there. She matter-of-factly stated, "The ball was overtaken by Sparta." A week later, in fact the same day as my funny anectdotes occured, Shawn was explaining the precarious situation that Brutus, counselor of Julius Caesar, was in in regards to protecting his friend or protecting his country. He asked the class if there was someone that was a "Brutus" in today's society. One of his students raised his hand and answered,"Hillary Clinton." The class erupted in laughter as well as Shawn.

Besides the tidbits of humor that have been going on in our classes, we have been busy with intense volleyball games, car smashes, taco soup days, and Red Ribbon Week. (If you would like to experience fear, try handing sledghammers to adolescents whose brains are not fully developed and to teachers who have been holding in the anger for a little too long, and let them go wild on a car. It's a rush.)(Oh...I don't mean to be naive... but when did my little eighth and ninth graders start smoking? They are too young to be killing themselves-I actually pulled them aside and told them that- I probably stepped over my bounds. Happy Red Ribbon Week!)

There you go Gina. You asked for it!

I Heart Adoption

I just want to give a huge shout out to Mrs. R (therhouse.blogspot.com) for coming all the way out here to give a presentation on adoption. Our students had nothing but really positive things to say about the presentation and I know (as per a few conversations) that Mrs. R brought up some issues that our students had never thought about.

Thank you for being such an amazing adoption advocate!

I'm Letting Go...

I'm letting go of my fear of people's thoughts and opinions concerning me.

I can't take the worry anymore and I really can't change what they think of me -positive or negative. I'm letting go of the selfishness that leads to such contemplations. Why has it taken this long?

I'm letting go of things that don't inspire, uplift, and edify me.

It is so easy to allow for mediocrity. It is so easy to not fight against the junk that the adversary is throwing at us to destroy our families, our standards, and our happiness. It is so easy to be apathetic when the world is teaching us that darkness is just easier to gather than holding on to the light of things that are just, good, and true.

I'm holding on to my love of Heavenly Father and my faith in Jesus Christ.

I'm holding on to the hope that comes through faith in those who love me more than I will ever know and the knowledge that they, undoubtedly, know everything about me and about what is to come. I'm letting go of the doubt and holding on to the promise that if I do what I have been asked to do, He will take care of the desires that are so dear to my heart. I'm holding on to the very real knowledge that I can change-I can be better-more loving-more kind-more compassionate-more pure-because Christ has made it so.

I'm holding on to my marriage- my best friend, my companion, my example, my love, my husband.

Too many marriages are falling apart and I am committed to not let that happen. I'm holding on to better communication and more positive encouragement and support. I'm holding on to compromise and fireworks. I'm holding on to the achiness I feel when we are only apart for a night- I love him so much.

I'm holding on to love.

I want the excess space that has just opened up (by letting go) to be filled with more love and service for people in my circle of influence. I want to be more compassionate to those whose opinion I once feared-to love those who I too often criticize. I'm holding on to showing more love and working harder at maintaining relationships with my family. I'm holding on to being the kind of person who others can feel safe and loved around.

I'm letting go so that I can open my life more fully to the things that are worth holding on to.

School Days...

Well, summer is officially over. The last week we spent Monday-Wednesday preparing our classrooms and lesson plans, and on Thursday school began. Even though I have been doing this for a couple of years, I still get nervous on the first day. I wasn't sure how I would feel but I am rejuvenated seeing how the students have matured and are ready for this new change. We have very capable teachers on our staff so we will be a nicely functioning group. Our principal is a great example for the students and she is present- she is always in our classrooms, in the hall, etc. Knowing that, the students behave much better than they would normally.
During the summer I asked to be released from my responsibility as cheerleading advisor and asked to be the student council advisor. I have been stressed about how I would be able to be a mom (since we have no idea when that will happen) and take care of my school responsibilities. As much as I enjoy the whole idea of cheerleading building school spirit, I struggle with the fight of keeping the program growing with girls who have a desire to be the representatives that they need to be. I am sad to let the program go, but I can see how it is a good decision for us and our family that we will hopefully become.
I love being the student council advisor and it won't take so much time outside of school. I have great SBOs with great ideas and I think that they will be really great at building school spirit as they are super examples and well liked by the student body. I am excited for this new year. I feel that everything is falling into place-I hope that it is because we will be parents soon, but maybe it is because of the church responsibility that I have just accepted. We will see. God will take care of us- we have seen how He already has and have faith that He always will.

Delaware

Who knew such a tiny state would be so important to this Utah girl? We had the opportunity to visit with Shawn's family during the first week of August. We started off in Bethany where Grandma and Grandpa rented a beach house. We were able to spend time with all of Shawn's mom's family. It was so nice to be together and to get to know his aunts and grandparents better.

We had perfect weather at the beach and we swam and played all day long. We also took grandpa on a pontoon boat ride on the Little Assawoman bay. He drove for half of the trip and had a constant smile on his face. It was so nice to see him happy.


This picture is the whole crew. We had so much fun together!












Shawn took me to the Rehoboth boardwalk where he spent many summers playing boardwalk games, eating boardwalk fries, and funnel cake. His favorite game is the horse racey game (he likes it so much that I already knew all about it before we ever went to Delaware) and -let's just say -we blew a few dollars in that little space!
When we left the beach house, we were able to go and visit some aunts, uncles and cousins on Shawn's dad's side. We went out for Maryland Blue Crabs with Shawn's other grandparents. I hope they have crab in heaven. I sure love it! We had a good long discussion about Shawn's geneology and hopefully we can find more of his ancestors as we take advantage of the Family History Library in Salt Lake City. I also saw some of Shawn's baby pictures for the first time. Boy he was cute-still is-but he was really cute as a baby.
The last day of our trip we visited our great grandma who has recently moved to a masonic home in Pennsylvania. She is 99 years old and you would never guess it! She showed us all of the neat features of her new home and she seems very happy. She is an amazing woman who has experienced so much in her life but still is very optimistic and full of faith. We will go back to Delaware in May for her 100th birthday-can't wait!

Thanks to everyone for such a great vacation!