Adoption

Today I was reading Mrs. R's blog about those of us in the adoption community opening our mouths about adoption.

Miracles happen when people open their mouths-it was as true as a missionary as it is now.

To be honest, it felt awkward to tell everyone that we were adopting because that almost always led to the question of why. We got over it though and really tried to tell everyone! We sent out "Christmas" letters that weren't sent around Christmas at all. We sent emails to everyone in our email accounts. We made pass-along cards and posted them on restaurant boards, gave a few to our families, friends, colleagues, and students. We even started a blog! Whenever we could/can bring it up, we talked about it. It felt socially awkward but we knew that we needed to do everything we possibly could.

Last July we had the opportunity to put our profile on an additional listing service in exchange for doing outreach in our communities. We spent quite a few hours talking to agencies and organizations in hopes of educating the community about adoption. We even asked Mrs. R to come to our high school to present to our adult roles class. (It was truly a great experience for our students!)

As a result of someone else doing their outreach hours, we were called by a writer for the Tooele Transcript and interviewed for an article on adoption. For more about that, check out this post. After the photographer left our home, I shut the door and broke down. I was tired. I was tired of nothing progressing and nothing happening. I was tired of trying to live hopefully and testify of adoption when our reality was simply a blackhole-continuously enveloping our already struggling hope. Our caseworker never had any information that our profile had been looked at or considered. It was devastating.

Fast forward a couple of months. We came home in the middle of the week and did our ritual email checking. We opened an email through the contact page on our LDSFS profile that simply asked, "Are you still looking for a baby?" What do you say to that? We responded, "Yes!"
In the meantime, a colleague from our first year at this high school called us on Saturday morning and started off with "This is kind of a strange phone call." He then told us that he was grocery shopping when the neighbor of his mother approached him with her granddaughter-in-law who was considering adoption. They actually asked him about us because his mother mentioned that he knew us. We were excited to hear that someone was interested enough to ask him about us, but we were trying not to get our hopes up and we hadn't received a reply from the previous email. (If they were even from the same place.)
The following Sunday, we came home from church and found a beautiful email suggesting that this woman and her husband would like us to adopt their baby. The following day she learned the gender of the baby, and the day after that we were able to begin getting to know this amazing family.
Tonight we had the opportunity to meet together with our caseworkers. K and D both relayed their experience in finding information about us. It was beautiful. My eyes teared up as they talked about seeing our article (the one that I was so upset about) and about the pictures that stood out to them on our profile. All of these decisions that were so emotional and stressful turned out to make all of the difference.
The reason that I am relaying this story is because our adoption is what is considered a designated adoption-where a third party knows both the birth parents and the adoptive parents. I didn't even know that we had specifically told our colleague that we were adopting-but somehow he knew and so did his mom-who shared the article about us with her neighbor, D's grandmother. The journalist, who was inspired to write her article, opened her mouth about adoption and we were lucky to have been interviewed and photographed for it.
Adoption is truly more successful when we talk about it and share information about those who are seeking to adopt. I will be forever grateful for my colleague and the journalist who "talked" about us! Thank you to those of you who talked about us!

If you have a chance, please click on The R House button on the right.

Just Thinking

I went to college secretly hoping that I would meet my husband and get married. I didn’t-and THANK HEAVENS because I had the opportunity to serve a mission. It was the best experience for me. It was hard but wonderful and I learned invaluable lessons. It wasn’t what I expected-it was better.
For a long time I have felt hollow. Infertility made me feel like I needed to continue on while consciously pushing aside the feeling that “this” was not how I envisioned life to be. It has been so emotionally draining. Shawn and I had long talks about what we were going to do to keep out of a constant grieving and hurt. We prepared our adoption paperwork and decided to make an intense focus on our marriage. We have played hard. We have taken dream vacations and bought season tickets to the theater. We have the latest technology and a nice car. We sleep in when we can, take naps whenever we want, and go anywhere whenever we feel like it. On my list of things I wanted before we became parents I had a bosch mixer, a piano/keyboard, and a sewing machine. I have all of those things.
Tonight I spent a couple of hours sewing receiving blankets. As I put together the cute pink and purple fabric, I had an epiphany. “This” isn’t what I expected life to be like. I never thought that building a family would be something I struggled with. I also never anticipated that it would be as hard as it really has been. Then, within a matter of a week, our life changed. Here I am-MAKING RECEIVING BLANKETS. The way life has turned out so far isn’t what I imagined or dreamed about. IT IS BETTER. I am ever grateful for a loving God who KNOWS what will make us happy. Perhaps we don’t trust that enough because we have no concept of it until we actually experience it. AMAZING!

Thank You!!!

THANK YOU!!!

We appreciate all of the comments on our last post.

We are so grateful for your prayers and support in our behalf! We are absolutely ecstatic for this blessing and amazing opportunity.